My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I think your dad took our porno
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize