Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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