Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just had sex on a roof
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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