I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
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Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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