what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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