I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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