Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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