Ambien. No doubt about it.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
