I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
