I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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