she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
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Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
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I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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