it wasn't lemon gatorade
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
