i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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