I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
