Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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