She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
