I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
