i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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