that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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