She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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