My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize