He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
love makes seman taste better
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
