New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
