I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
