I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
