He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
