i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize