fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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