I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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