I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I wish I only lived at night.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
