I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
