Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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