Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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