you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
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The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
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I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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