Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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