Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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