so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
