Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
