my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
