Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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