i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize