just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
