Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
