thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
