don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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