I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
