you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
