i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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