You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize