If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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