Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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