You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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