and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
