You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
