Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
