plz talk dirty to me
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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