is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
