"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
