Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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