i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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